Somebody asked me the other day if I felt like I was at home in England. “I was born and brought up here, all my friends are here. My life is here.” But all the same, I knew the point they were making.
I was sitting in a meeting of 40 or so senior academics today and as my thoughts meandered from the pros and cons of implementing double marking I realised something: I was the only brown person in the room. “Brown girl in the ring, tra la-la la-la”. Ok, so I’m not a girl but it was vaguely ring-shaped.
Back to the conversation… We ended up talking about relationships and how 1st generation parents tend towards wanting their children to marry within the same race/religion/class etc. It’s weird. Although, I can understand it. I mean, it makes sense, a little bit. The theory goes: you’re more likely to have compatible lifestyles if you’ve been brought up with the same rules to live by, but then that’s the weird thing about being in the second generation. Depending on where you live, you may never meet someone who shares the same background as you/your parents. Surely, it’s unreasonable for them to expect/demand it of you. Surely.
I’ve had my theories. Having all their relations, being the same (in whatever), it’s natural to expect that it will continue that way. But then they were the ones who moved from where people were all the same race. Some moved from persecution, others for a better life, others because they had enough of their family. Out of those who moved for a ‘better’ life, many did so to improve the lives of their kids. Perhaps with that, they brought higher expectations for their kids. Their children would have a better lifestlye, a better education, would get better jobs etc. Perhaps, leaving the culture behind leaves them longing to return to it whenever/however they can. Of course, it can be so variable: the spectrum of people’s views vary from one extreme to the other.
I’m just guessing at why this is. Actually, I’m looking for the answer. I guess I have been for quite a while. But I have a feeling that nobody really has one or that it’s just that we’re all different and we all have different views. Pah, cop out!
Suggestions?
